Finn was always meant to be here…

Written by Ally Reyes

I was about 12 weeks pregnant when I got a phone call from my midwife. “Hi Ally, I got the results back from your NIPT blood work. Everything is normal, except that it was positive for Trisomy 21.”

“What does that mean?” I asked. I could feel my blood pressure rising.

“It is the gene for Down syndrome. It doesn’t necessarily mean your child has it. You will need to do some more testing to get a true diagnosis….” Her voice seemed to trail off. I was at home, alone, sitting on our couch. I felt like I was going to vomit.

With my head spinning, I called my mom and my husband, who both left work to come home. We all were confused, angry, sad, and didn’t really know what to do next. My midwife pointed us to some other doctors and genetic specialists to talk to. We had planned to have an unmedicated home birth, but the midwife advised us to get a formal diagnosis. In the case that our baby had Down syndrome, it was safer to deliver in a hospital. After speaking with a few doctors, we decided against an amniocentesis. This is the true diagnostic test that would have confirmed Down syndrome.

At first, the idea of having a child with Down syndrome was scary. There is a sort of grieving process that happens: denial, anger, confusion, sadness, and eventually acceptance. We felt like there was no way this could be happening to us. I was young, very healthy, ate clean, worked out, did all the things I was supposed to. We were angry that WE would have to deal with this. We were worried that something would be wrong medically, sad that our child might struggle to be accepted by others, and confused at how this even happened.

You see, I was 24 years old, this was a surprise pregnancy, and my now husband and I weren’t married at the time. When you get life-changing news like a pregnancy, you fantasize about what your future will look like. When you get more life-changing news on top of it—a possible Down syndrome diagnosis—all of that goes out the window.

I am a yoga teacher and student and trust in the universe greatly. When I first found out I was pregnant, I felt so connected to my baby. I firmly believe that the universe gives us what we can handle and I don’t believe in accidents. This baby was ours, no matter what. After processing all of our feelings about our prenatal diagnosis-ish (I say ‘ish’ because we didn’t formally have a diagnosis until he was born), we agreed that we would do anything we had to for the success of our child. We were lucky to find a great team of doctors and nurses who supported us.

Our son Finn was born on September 4, 2022. There is nothing we would change about him. Having a child with a different ability doesn’t determine the level of dedication you give to them. You would do anything for your child to help them succeed, and that does not change just because they have different needs. We quickly got Finn enrolled in Early Intervention. We were able to start PT at 4 months, DI at 6 months, and OT and Speech at 1 year. We have had many extra doctor visits, like pediatric cardiology, ultrasounds of his hip joints, and a specialist for a helmet. At almost 2, he is succeeding far beyond our expectations and goals!

Above all, Finn has taught us and everyone in his life to slow down and appreciate everything. He is so loving, happy, friendly, and silly. There is a light that beams from him that I cannot describe. His energy is infectious. I've seen him put smiles on the faces of people who look miserable in the checkout line of the grocery store.

As a society, we don’t need to “fix” those who are different. We need to be more accepting, loving, patient, and kind. Our children truly are our greatest teachers. Having a child with DS has made my husband and me better people. He is proof that people WILL succeed if we give them space to be their authentic selves and love them for WHO THEY ARE.

Ally is a multi-talented individual with a rich and diverse background. Aside from being a mom, she is a yoga teacher, reiki practitioner, birth doula, nature lover, and fiber artist. Ally has a deep appreciation for music of all kinds and enjoys playing the ukulele for fun. Art serves as a significant creative outlet for her, and she loves to crochet, paint, and dance. Her favorite type of yoga is a warm Vinyasa class, where she can move and flow freely.

Ally and her husband share a love for hiking and spending time at the beach, having met while camping at a music festival. Additionally, Ally runs a small business called Anahata Crochet, where she hand-crochets clothing and accessories for both babies and adults.